IC Contact Post

[mathemagier]

[Screened calls go straight to voicemail, where an impatient recording answers]

You've reached Dr. Hermann Gottlieb. Leave your name, number, and business if you expect a return call. Thank you.

Comments

text

[justaskalice]

Srs question
Do you think tweed booty shorts would chafe?

[mathemagier]

Probably. But it depends on how long the person in question was wearing them.

[justaskalice]

I was thinking it could be your new pool boy's uniform.

Have that ass looking nice and classy for you, Doctor.

[mathemagier]

Doesn't sound like a bad idea but I'd need to see it modeled before I could possibly make a decision.

[justaskalice]

Alright. Let me see if I can find someone cute to model for you. Maybe one of the interns at work.

[mathemagier]

Or the applicant could model it if he really wanted the position.

[justaskalice]

Well, true. Though I haven't found tweed booty shorts YET, but I'm on it, and I got someone else on the mission too, so you'll have some for your poolboy to wear eventually.

You'll have to detail just what kind of position you want him in, though, once you have him.

[mathemagier]

A working position of course, a bit bent over the side with the net. That would be suitable. And of course it's too hot for a shirt.

[justaskalice]

Of course. Very logical.
How young is too young? Tattoos a no?

[mathemagier]

Tattoos are fine. I'd say around 30 would be the youngest I could entertain.

[justaskalice]

Not much of a "boy" at that point.

[mathemagier]

I have refined taste.

[justaskalice]

Oh really? I mean, I know at least one man who would beg to differ, dude, but whatever.
Poolboys age like fine wine, huh?

[mathemagier]

Quite. Men reach their physical peak around then anyway. I'm not looking for some scrawny poolboy. He has to be able to fill a pair of shorts with something to show for it.

[justaskalice]

Think these put on a good enough show if I can't find tweed for you? [he sends a photo of these on a hanger at the store] Or does the good Doctor need something tighter or more skimpy?

[mathemagier]

Why don't you try them on so I can see how well they might fit? Quite difficult to tell from a hanger and brand stock image.

[justaskalice]

[Newt hesitates before taking them to the dressing room and trying them on, then taking a picture to send to Hermann. It's a bit different than sending Hermann photos from home, but he's very intent on making up for the time apart with lots of sexy things for Hermann. That, and it distracts him from thinking about Them, lets him pretend everything is fine as it once was.]

Ok, don't laugh--!!

[mathemagier]

They look good, but yes, could do to be a touch tighter to really highlight an applicant's qualifications.

[justaskalice]

You mean his total not-actually-a-dad dad-bod?

[Finds a different style, a bit tighter and sends a photo.]

[mathemagier]

Certainly.

A perfect fit.

[justaskalice]

Ok.

Ok, I'm buying these and I won't be held accountable for any further pictures sent once I get home. This is all your fault, Hermann, for having a stupid pool in the first place.

[mathemagier]

It was for you originally, but yes I've gotten some use out of it as well. It's a simple luxury.

[justaskalice]

OH NO.
DO NOT TRY TO PUT THE BLAME ON ME.
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

THIS WHOLE POOL SHENANIGAN AND THE FACT THAT YOU'RE SEXY
ALL YOUR FAULT

IF YOU'RE IN PUBLIC WHEN I SEND YOU PICS REMEMBER IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT

[mathemagier]

I'd like to point out that you're the one that brought up this whole pool boy business.

[justaskalice]

Because SOMEONE has to service ;D the pool.

This is PART of fixing back up the house, Hermann babe.