[Frustration melts into a sigh. He places his hand over Hermann's and looks sidelong at him.] I'm ...I'm trying, Hermann, [Seriousness dissolves. They've become so much softer around each other over this last year. A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.] and you're really messing that up.
[He doesn't say anything for a minute or so, working through whatever concessions he's been making lately. Despite the Drift, he still doesn't always follow Newton's moods perfectly- and today is proving particularly difficult]
..I just don't want you to think I'm no longer interested in pursuing this.
I know you're not a mind reader, Hermann, but you deferring to me--out of misplaced guilt or because it's my area of expertise, or whatever--is not something that happens...or at least isn't something that OFTEN happens. So look, excuse me if I want to be sure you're saying "Hey, what do you want to do?" for the right reasons and not because you're trying to make amends. Because this goes back to what I was saying, that you're making concessions for me--pushing your timelines up, stepping out of your comfort zone, giving me a showy wedding--and I don't need you to for ME. I WILL walk all over you if you keep letting me get my way--not because I want to, but because I just don't know how not to.
If you do these things, you need to do them for YOU. We need to be equal. You need to fight me. [Quieter] ...I need to fight you.
[He withdraws his hand and pulls his door shut as the chill starts to get to him]
But if I don't have any strong preferences and something will make you happy, there's no reason to. I will insist on stipulations or conditions as necessary as a compromise, and really Newton, when is the last time you've forced me into anything?
So I didn't force you? You're honestly okay with that arrangement and I'm not like...pushing you or Drift influencing you or just bulldozing my way through? You're going to be okay with marriage--to me--in two weeks?
I did say I was ready to marry you. And I am, Newton. Only I didn't anticipate it would be anytime within the next few days, and the nerves caught up with me all at once. But I can manage a week- and certainly two.
[Hermann sighs, gesturing loosely out the windshield and attempts to think of an explanation. The sky is clouded]
It's a bit like going outside and expecting a light rain. You've got a hood and so that's well enough, but you didn't prepare for a torrential downpour and you're without an umbrella.
[That seemed like a clearer explanation in his mind]
..That is to say, I expected to be married in March, and the nerves were raindrops leading up to it. Manageable, in other words. But to think of suddenly being married with nothing leading up to it-- fairly intimidating.
[For not the first, and certainly not the last time, Newt genuinely wonders how they had ever gotten off the ground in the first place. Hermann needs order, he resists spontaneity...
But some of his plans--the proposal, the assistance with the Drift, living together--however spontaneous by Hermann's standards...are some of the most magical moments of Newt's adult life.
He nods, kind of understanding the metaphor. It's hard, when Newt lives for spontaneity himself.]
Alright. You just tell me when you have a good coat and an umbrella and I'll be ready. It can be two weeks from now, two months, March, whenever. But when you say go--be ready to jump in the puddles with me, man.
Now. ...I think I'm done adulting, so how about we be teenagers and play hooky and go get us a milkshake or something.
[The tension dissipates as Newton seems to grasp what he's attempting to say, and he's more than ready for a mood change. Pulling on his seat belt, Hermann starts up the car]
Two weeks then. But before all that, we'll see about that shake and perhaps a bit of lunch.
[The change is much needed and he's glad to see Hermann is fine with moving on now. Newt buckles up.] And a makeout session. There's got to be some scenic hilltop where all the kids go to makeout these days.
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..I just don't want you to think I'm no longer interested in pursuing this.
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He feels drained.] Maybe we should have just parked somewhere to make out in the backseat instead.
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Whatever you want to do, Newton.
[Any way he can possibly make up for putting that doubt in Newton's eyes]
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I'm not a mind reader, Newton. Do you still want to look at rings, or have you lost interest? And last I was aware, you didn't want to return home.
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If you do these things, you need to do them for YOU. We need to be equal. You need to fight me. [Quieter] ...I need to fight you.
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[He withdraws his hand and pulls his door shut as the chill starts to get to him]
But if I don't have any strong preferences and something will make you happy, there's no reason to. I will insist on stipulations or conditions as necessary as a compromise, and really Newton, when is the last time you've forced me into anything?
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You almost let me push you into marrying me today.
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So I didn't force you? You're honestly okay with that arrangement and I'm not like...pushing you or Drift influencing you or just bulldozing my way through? You're going to be okay with marriage--to me--in two weeks?
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It's a bit like going outside and expecting a light rain. You've got a hood and so that's well enough, but you didn't prepare for a torrential downpour and you're without an umbrella.
[That seemed like a clearer explanation in his mind]
..That is to say, I expected to be married in March, and the nerves were raindrops leading up to it. Manageable, in other words. But to think of suddenly being married with nothing leading up to it-- fairly intimidating.
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But some of his plans--the proposal, the assistance with the Drift, living together--however spontaneous by Hermann's standards...are some of the most magical moments of Newt's adult life.
He nods, kind of understanding the metaphor. It's hard, when Newt lives for spontaneity himself.]
Alright. You just tell me when you have a good coat and an umbrella and I'll be ready. It can be two weeks from now, two months, March, whenever. But when you say go--be ready to jump in the puddles with me, man.
Now. ...I think I'm done adulting, so how about we be teenagers and play hooky and go get us a milkshake or something.
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Two weeks then. But before all that, we'll see about that shake and perhaps a bit of lunch.
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Well I don't know where the teenagers go nowadays, but I'm sure we can find a nice spot to have to ourselves..