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[Screened calls go straight to voicemail, where an impatient recording answers]

You've reached Dr. Hermann Gottlieb. Leave your name, number, and business if you expect a return call. Thank you.

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Pretty sure that's what we've been doing for a while now. But I'll gladly take more.

Well if you ever feel as though you're missing out on something, do tell. I want you happy.

Missing out on doing lines of coke off the bodies of groupies in the tour bus and hotel rooms. Panties thrown on stage while giving a show. "Mary Me Newt" signs. You know. The usual.

[Laughs]

Those were dreams, Newton. ..But if you really did want to be famous, you'd have no problems with achieving that here.

What, you're telling me you won't let me do lines off your abs? Come on.

Of sugar, possibly.

Ow, no, that's going to hurt. I'll lick them off instead.

Acceptable.

Good, because now I'm craving something sweet and I have Def Leppard stuck in my head.

Well I suppose that's appropriate.

Likely shouldn't do that in our bed, however. Bit of a mess.

Dining room table might not be appropriate.

Well we can strip the bed and lay a new sheet down, then bunch it up for the wash after.

Mm, or maybe I'll just get some syrup.

Just as well, I won't mind following up with a shower in that case.

Like I'd let you go to bed sticky.

Maybe a nice bath, some champagne or wine or something harder. Really live up the "rock star hotel room sex" image.

Another few weeks and we'll have a spacious, private bath as well.

That's too long.

You know what? I'm going to find a pair of awesome leather pants, buy us some syrup and booze, and fuck you like the rockstars we are. The vows can wait. I'm feeling inspired and a guy has to live it up before he gets himself married.

Well I certainly don't have any arguments.

[And leather pants means they probably won't bother to peel Newton out of them either- delicious]

I'll make the necessary preparations while you're out.

Good. Don't have too much fun without me.

Don't take too long then.

Do you want these pants to fit or not?

You better not make shopping difficult. I swear to god, Hermann, trying to buy pants with a boner is a no go. I will sleep on the couch if you make me hard in the dressing room. Save that for the grocery shopping part of the trip.

Yes, all right, hands off while you try on new pants.

[Mental eye roll, yet still thoroughly amused. The Drift is a delight to tease through]

You'd best put them on once you've bought them if you're sanctioning my efforts while you're in the grocery store however.

You are awful. You better be ready to go when I get home because this rockstar is going to want his groupie and is not going to want to wait around.

[He's just so smugly satisfied rn]

I'll be ready for you. Now you'd best run along before I become terribly impatient.

....god, I should have been having trashy rockstar sex with you since forever....

Okay. I'm going, I'm going. I'll text when I've bought my pants.

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mathemagier - 2017-03-15 01:43 (UTC) - Expand

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driftsintobuffetline - 2017-03-15 02:59 (UTC) - Expand

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