[Newt's voice is rather small and he doesn't really speak until Hermann's all but left him alone in the car. The nerves are now also his own, a bundle of swelling and growing worry that tangles in his stomach and buzzes around his head. He's pushed. He courted Hermann, insisted and instigated for their entire existence together, but this--marry me now--may be too much. What if it is? What if this is the moment Hermann decides he can't with Newt's rushing into things?
What if he's finally scared Hermann away? What if he doesn't come back and he just leaves Newt here like a kid whose dad stepped out for a pack of cigarettes and just...never came back? What if he panics and decides they have to wait for March and then can't in March and won't and they just never do and--
Newt unbuckles and pushes the seatbelt out of the way. He feels strangled. The car feels too small. Too hot. Too stagnant. Both too bright and too dark. The gas fumes are getting to his head. He opens the door and climbs out, trying to not feel like he's going to barf or keel over there in the gas station. HE'S the one panicking now. And it's so dumb, he knows, and it's not Hermann's fault--it's his own--but it just keeps spiraling in his head.
No. No, they can't be this disastrous. They keep DOING this! Triggering each other's moods, Newt flying off into abandonment issues. He just needs... Just.
Newt closes the car door and follows Hermann's path to the bathroom. They need to talk.]
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[Newt's voice is rather small and he doesn't really speak until Hermann's all but left him alone in the car. The nerves are now also his own, a bundle of swelling and growing worry that tangles in his stomach and buzzes around his head. He's pushed. He courted Hermann, insisted and instigated for their entire existence together, but this--marry me now--may be too much. What if it is? What if this is the moment Hermann decides he can't with Newt's rushing into things?
What if he's finally scared Hermann away? What if he doesn't come back and he just leaves Newt here like a kid whose dad stepped out for a pack of cigarettes and just...never came back? What if he panics and decides they have to wait for March and then can't in March and won't and they just never do and--
Newt unbuckles and pushes the seatbelt out of the way. He feels strangled. The car feels too small. Too hot. Too stagnant. Both too bright and too dark. The gas fumes are getting to his head. He opens the door and climbs out, trying to not feel like he's going to barf or keel over there in the gas station. HE'S the one panicking now. And it's so dumb, he knows, and it's not Hermann's fault--it's his own--but it just keeps spiraling in his head.
No. No, they can't be this disastrous. They keep DOING this! Triggering each other's moods, Newt flying off into abandonment issues. He just needs... Just.
Newt closes the car door and follows Hermann's path to the bathroom. They need to talk.]